To compare can sometimes motivate, but more often it distracts us from focusing on what really matters. It’s rarely helpful to look sideways at what others might have or be doing. My advice is – STOP Comparing!
Kylie, a 31 year-old mother of three children under the age of three, is non-stop all day long! She loves being a mum and is considering a fourth child. However, there is another feeling underneath. Sometimes Kylie compares herself with women in the paid workforce and wishes that were her juggling family and work. Kylie has a strong desire to help people live healthier lives with organic food and chemical-free products – she would love to get paid work in the area of her passion.
Kylie and I explored the feeling of being pulled in different directions. I shared that these feelings and pulls were common among a lot of mums and dads. We talked about the immense value she is providing to her children at this moment in time. When in comparison mode, Kylie was questioning her self-worth and not valuing her role as a mum. I explained that sometimes the grass on the other side only appears greener. When she stopped comparing she was once again able to enjoy the choices she had made. We talked about how Leading Women understand – they can have it all, but sometimes we can’t have it all at the one time. Many mums and dads feel these pulls so it comes down to the choices we make.
As competitive beings, many of us want to keep up with others, but by doing so we can put real pressure on ourselves. When we look at others we see what we want to – could be the big house, fancy holiday or lifestyle, but the I want what she’s (or he’s!) having mindset is rarely helpful. If you like a little competition – don’t compete with others – compete with the You from yesterday and aim to better yourself each day.
Ask yourself – do you look sideways to
Admire or compare?
Learn or judge?
Include or exclude?
Help or hinder?
Praise or criticise?
Accept or reject?
Looking behind has few benefits either, unless you look to the past to learn for the future. But just take a quick glance, and only if you need to. Like the rear-view mirror in the car, it’s a much smaller picture than the large front window where we look out at the journey ahead.
Compare NOT! Love and embrace what’s unique about YOU.
Every Minute Counts and You Can Have It All! ®